Dismantling the Illusion (Part I)

if your world is falling apart, let it

if your world is falling apart, let it…then build a better one

I am working on a new outlook, which I wish to share with you, on keeping up one’s vibration and manifesting what one wants in life (which I am going to separate into 3 parts, because it seems to be demanding a lot of words to express). Darkness is not always the central subject of this kind of thing, but this system has to do with releasing everything you’ve been taught that’s holding you back. So there is certainly a feeling of Darkness here, like great shadow creatures sneaking up from behind, crushing and crumbling old ideas in their black jaws.

When you want something to manifest in life, and it just doesn’t seem to be coming, you have to do some hardcore introspection. And you find that layers and layers of thoughts block your dreams, not just doubts and fears, but advice from others, meant to be helpful, or simple day-to-day constants that you’ve always thought were obvious truths. They clog up your thoughts, keeping you from remembering what you really want.

When those thoughts come, every time, for every one, you have to stop and say, “That’s not real.”

Now, lots of paths or faiths or post-modernist philosophies talk about reality being an illusion. In the past, I didn’t take this all that seriously, but only because I didn’t get exactly what they meant. Until now: the point is not to float through life like a dust mote on a drug trip, thinking nothing is real and nothing matters. The idea is to let go of all the things that you don’t want to be true, utterly break down those parts of your mind, and rebuild them with everything you do want.

If you’re reading my Darkness blog, chances are you already know you don’t desire exactly the “American Dream” of the white picket fence, 9 to 5, married with 2.5 kids scene. But that’s not the illusion I’m referring to. What I’m talking about is much more transparent (as in you can’t see it because you’re always looking through it, like contact lenses, or a pane of glass that a bird keeps flying into): it is the basic assumptions that you make. You must have a job to make money. You must romantically love only one person. You must have money to survive. You must value others over yourself. You must wash your hands after you pee. You must get up during the day and sleep at night. You must eat dessert last.

Are you starting to get the idea? These are just general examples, and not very good ones really.

A better example would be: If someone yells at you, you must feel angry. If someone tells you your work sucks, you must be sad. If some people have told you you’re wrong, and very few, if any, have said you’re right, you must be wrong. Or even, if someone else is wrong, you must correct them, or at least tell everybody how wrong they are (are you listening, people-who-post-politics-on-Facebook?). If something breaks, you must be angry because it’s a waste. If people aren’t doing things the way you want them done, you must be frustrated. If there’s a possibility something might harm you unexpectedly, you must watch out for it or avoid the chance of it, ie. fear it.

I am telling you now THESE THINGS ARE NOT REAL. They are merely thoughts that you have been trained in all your life, so that now they are ingrained reactions and expectations. The world is filtered entirely through your own perception, through your mind. If something is keeping you from living the life that makes you happy, it is only a belief, only in your mind. And you can always change your mind.

Wake up from the bad dream! Believe that the world that your physical eyes look at is a mirage, a hologram: sure you think you can see/feel/taste/smell/touch it, but Neo thought the same of the Matrix. Then he found out he could stop bullets. How? He believed. He looked at them and said, simply, “No.”

Okay now a personal example: I do not yet have a day job in my new city. Now, what I REALLY want is to work on my own writing/art all the time. What I have been focusing a large amount of my time on is applying for jobs. Notice how these two are not the same thing. So I’ve been conflicted, doubtful, desiring to pay my bills in a short period of time, but also to manifest my ideal life for the long term.

Manifesting anything quickly can be tricky, especially when, at first perception, there seems to be a wide gap between what has at present manifested and what you desire. By the Abraham-Hicks teachings, the way to fix things quickly is to believe, completely, that there is no gap, nothing that stands in your way, not even yourself.

So I’ve been working on taking my thoughts apart thusly: When I get a thought I don’t like, don’t want any more thoughts like it, don’t want to manifest anything about it, I stop myself and say “That’s not real.”

This is not the same as ignoring it: turning your back to something, or just not doing anything about it, doesn’t mean you erased it from your mind. You have to really feel it, decide it does not exist, watch it in your mind, instantly cracking or crumbling, suddenly melting or dissolving, washing away so that you feel the relief that it is gone, has passed from you.

And then the second, equally if not more important part: I then turn my thoughts around and find something to think on that is real.

So if I have a miscommunication with a client that means I won’t be making as much for an image, or if I go to a job interview but find I don’t care for the people, I just realize: “Oh yeah, I don’t need that project or that job. It’s not real. In my real life, over here behind my eyes, I already have everything I need or want, I only work on projects I like, and the only people I come in contact with are those that I enjoy.”

It may sound crazy, but when you start to believe it, you start to feel better. All the time. Problems may pop up, but you stop dwelling on them (’cause they’re not real!), so they don’t nag you, and you go back to doing the things that are making you feel good. So you spend more time on good things, and more good things come to you.

More to come next week on filling up the empty spot left by your dismantled thoughts. Don’t wait for me though: try it now! Imagine any workspace and yourself (or your Higher Self) and every tool or material you need comes to your fingertips. Don’t worry, you won’t have to fill in everything, the Universe will help you with that later. Pull from your imagination, your hopes and aspirations: Build your own Real World.

I am a writer/illustrator of various types of speculative fiction but mostly modern fantasy. I have loved magic, and the people and creatures who live with it and use it, all my life, and writing and drawing these people in modern environments makes it all the more real to me. I also like to add an element of Darkness and horror, as well as science fiction, for “flavor”. I am fascinated with everything from unicorns and dragons to vampires and demons.

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